Sunday, November 28, 2010

The view from my bedroom window...

This post doesn't follow the story from the last few but I felt the need to post it today.

This was taken last January.

This morning I woke up at 6am. This is not uncommon for me as I have to be at work for 7am. It's sad that my weekend off I still follow the trend from my weekday schedule. Today I didn't really mind. I'm spending the weekend with my surrogate family at their farm.

I woke up with a cat on my chest, a dog at my feet and the group of geldings out my window. I always wake up slowly but today was different. I pushed the cat from my chest and rolled over to stare at the boys. Just 30 feet from the back door. Quietly munching their hay in the predawn light. I watched them interact. Three stallions and 11 geldings. All interacting calmly. The head stallion sometimes changing things around depending on who's doing what. Keeping everyone in their place. But never without a reason. Monster and his brother sleeping on the ground in what was a new round bale last night. The lone grey standing in between the two smaller herds who are eating at the bales.

Again taken last year.

I sometimes feel like the collage kid who comes home for the weekend. My two younger "brothers" excited to see me, sometimes forgetting I'm here. I'm like a present. A pleasant surprise in the morning. The only difference is I leave my laundry at home. I made coffee after I got up and went outside for a smoke. It was cold, snowy and windy but I never really mind when I'm here.

Last January the boys in the back yard.

Here I'm happy even when my real life sucks. I had the worst Friday ever at work. I was made to feel like shit all day. I was yelled at and threatened by someone who should have let it go. I can't fix the mistake. If I had been properly trained I wouldn't have made it. He abused his authority and took out his frustration at others on me. I spent more time crying than doing my job. I walked out wondering if this job I truly enjoy so much is really worth it. I was ready to walk away. But when I got on the train to come home, I started to relax. The closer to home I got the better I felt. I was no longer crying over an arrogant jerk. I was smiling and happy to see my family. They picked me up from the bus station and life was ok again. We pulled into the farm and real life no longer existed.

Today from my window I realized how much we should take in from our horses. I nip in the ass and it's over. I look and you just understand. No yelling, no feeling like sh*t for anyone.

This was taken in June 2010

I realized that I don't deserve what was done to me on Friday. I will stand up and fight back. You can't kick the sh*t out of me without a damn good reason. You can not take away everything that I have worked toward for the last two years just because you are in a position of authority. You abused it and now I will fight back. I will stand up for what is right. I will fight to the death for what I believe in. For what I have worked so hard for.

If my life could only be so simple as a horses life!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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