The view from my bedroom window...

This post doesn't follow the story from the last few but I felt the need to post it today.



This was taken last January.

This morning I woke up at 6am. This is not uncommon for me as I have to be at work for 7am. It's sad that my weekend off I still follow the trend from my weekday schedule. Today I didn't really mind. I'm spending the weekend with my surrogate family at their farm.








I woke up with a cat on my chest, a dog at my feet and the group of geldings out my window. I always wake up slowly but today was different. I pushed the cat from my chest and rolled over to stare at the boys. Just 30 feet from the back door. Quietly munching their hay in the predawn light. I watched them interact. Three stallions and 11 geldings. All interacting calmly. The head stallion sometimes changing things around depending on who's doing what. Keeping everyone in their place. But never without a reason. Monster and his brother sleeping on the ground in what was a new round bale last night. The lone grey standing in between the two smaller herds who are eating at the bales.




Again taken last year.

I sometimes feel like the collage kid who comes home for the weekend. My two younger "brothers" excited to see me, sometimes forgetting I'm here. I'm like a present. A pleasant surprise in the morning. The only difference is I leave my laundry at home. I made coffee after I got up and went outside for a smoke. It was cold, snowy and windy but I never really mind when I'm here.




Last January the boys in the back yard.


Here I'm happy even when my real life sucks. I had the worst Friday ever at work. I was made to feel like shit all day. I was yelled at and threatened by someone who should have let it go. I can't fix the mistake. If I had been properly trained I wouldn't have made it. He abused his authority and took out his frustration at others on me. I spent more time crying than doing my job. I walked out wondering if this job I truly enjoy so much is really worth it. I was ready to walk away. But when I got on the train to come home, I started to relax. The closer to home I got the better I felt. I was no longer crying over an arrogant jerk. I was smiling and happy to see my family. They picked me up from the bus station and life was ok again. We pulled into the farm and real life no longer existed.

Today from my window I realized how much we should take in from our horses. I nip in the ass and it's over. I look and you just understand. No yelling, no feeling like sh*t for anyone.


This was taken in June 2010


I realized that I don't deserve what was done to me on Friday. I will stand up and fight back. You can't kick the sh*t out of me without a damn good reason. You can not take away everything that I have worked toward for the last two years just because you are in a position of authority. You abused it and now I will fight back. I will stand up for what is right. I will fight to the death for what I believe in. For what I have worked so hard for.

If my life could only be so simple as a horses life!




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Who's crazy now?

Some times I wonder if horse people are the real crazies of the world....



What is up with that hat... My pictures really don't do it justice... Big pink feathers fluttering in the breeze


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Life lessons Big J and the little brown mare..

I buses out to Big J's everyday for 6 months. I had never worked at a full time lesson barn before coming out to big J's. I did everything she had ever asked of me. From mucking stall to riding to teaching lessons to taking out trail rides. As much as I knew about right and wrong in the horse world big J may have taught me some of the best lessons I could have ever learned.

The barn that big J rented was an old standerdbred training barn. It sat on 200 acres of land with 3 fields. There was an old bank barn, 2 large open shed/barns, a small indoor arena and 2 heritage homes closer to the road. The property had a small 5 acre bush lot towards the back. Parts were rented out by cash crop farmers. Everything was in a state of disrepair. Both barns really should not have houses animals, nor should have the outbuildings. I slowly learned that when it snowed outside it snowed inside as well. Or when it rained, 9 out of 10 stalls flooded, from above and below. I learned not to remove pee spots from certain stalls. I learned that when you hose freezes because there is a foot of snow at one end of the barn it was ALOT of work slugging water to each horse, and much easier to take each horse to a water tank in the hall and water them ever 3-4 hours. I learned the true meaning behind crazy horse people.

Big J taught lessons 7 nights a week and took out trails on weekends.  Actually I don't think she ever left her office. She had lackys like me to do the work for her. Apon occation I would teach a lesson for her during the day or take out a trail ride. She liked to make as much money as she could. Her horses were old and worked hard. They rarely got outside. Once a week if they were lucky. Let me tell you it was pure crazyness when they did get out. She would buy horses from the local meat market sale. Home they would come in her beat up pickup truck and matching trailer. They would be bannished to the old bank barn for a week to see if they had any health issues. If nothing was noticed they would get move up to the big barn. Then I would get to work with them. And not get paid to do it. But I never minded back then. I would brush them and love them up. Saddle them to see what their reaction would be. Then we would move out to the indoor. 

I remember this one little mare impaticular. We believed she was a Morgan from what we were told at the sale. Cute little thing she was. Not a drop of white on her brown little body. She was built like a tank and I was looking forward to getting on her. All her ground basics were incrediable! She loved the attition I was giving her. Not a muscle moved when I tacked her up. She walked around the arena like a pro on the lunge line. Her movement was to die for. So I got on her. She stood like an old trail horse for me to adjust girth and get on. Once I was on her back I shifted me weight around, flapped my arms. She was quite and calm. I put my leg on to ask her to move forward, she took one step and reared. Oh baby oh baby not a chance is hell was I going to let that happen! I bopped her on the poll and asked for forward again. Well let me tell you that mare could move. He moved so fast I thought I was flying. Oh wait u was, backward and up. My head hit the ground with a thud. Big J had been standing in the door way to the arena. She yelled at me to see if I was ok. Other than a bit of a headache and a sore knee I was fine. I was also determined to not let this little mare get the best of me. I walked over to where she was standing in the arena grabbed my reins and walked her back to my mounting block.
 Big J asked me "Are you crazy? Or just stupid?"
"Nope" I said "My mom always told me to get right back up."
And I did just that. I sat in the saddle for a good 2 mins, reins loose, quite and calm. Then I got off. I handed big J the mare and told her I was going home. I walked out of that barn, walked to the bus stop, and sat down on the gravel curb. I cryed like a baby. 

I'm no wimp. I've been kicked, bitten, stepped on, crushes, run over etc. Only once dis I ever ask for a hospital and pain meds. I wasn't crying for myself. I was crying for that poor little mare. I knew she would be back in the POS trailer and back to the stock yards first thing Monday morning. She couldn't make big J a dime and she wouldn't keep a extra mouth unless they paid their own way. I cryed for her and all the others that could have a second life but got the wrong bidder, and eneded up back were they started from.